This post continues from Part 1.
YOUR TWO BIGGEST BARRIERS
Going through the biggest mistakes in life, can give you a “healthy fear” of being wrong. In other words, it will give you deep humility. At the same time, it will not stop you from going after the things you wanted.
To succeed, you need to see more than what you alone can see. But standing in our ways are the two biggest barriers everyone faces.
1. Our ego
2. Blind spot barriers
This is the part of the brain that prevent you from acknowledging your weaknesses objectively so that you can figure out how to deal with it.
Your deepest needs and fears reside in areas of your brain that control your emotions.
Our needs to be right are often more important to our needs to find out what is true.
Eg. we tend to believe in our own opinion without properly stress testing it.
We especially don’t like to look at our own mistakes and weakness. We are instinctively prone to react in explorations of them as though they were text. We get angry, even though it will be more logical for us to be more open to receive feedback from others. This leads to us in making inferior decisions, learning less and falling short of our potential.
Everyone has blindspots. It is when a person believes he or she can see everything. But it’s a simple fact that no one alone can see a complete picture of everything.
Naturally people cannot appreciate what they can’t see. We have different ranges of seeing and understanding things. For example, some people are better in seeing the big picture, while others are better in seeing the details. Some are linear thinkers while others are more lateral. Some are creative but not reliable, but others are reliable but not creative etc.
Everyone perceives the world differently.
By doing what comes natural to us, we fail to account for our weaknesses and we crash.
Either we keep doing that or we change!
A tragedy can be defined as an outcome resulted from a person fatal flaw. A flaw which if had been fixed will led to a wonderful outcome.
Ray Dalio quote: “My fear of being wrong, gives me the radically open-mindedness and that changes everything.”
Taking risks and occasionally being ruined was not acceptable and neither was not taking risk and not having exceptional results acceptable!
Hence we need an approach to give the exceptional upside without also giving the exceptional downside.
TO GET IT, I NEEDED TO REPLACE THE JOY OF BEING PROVEN RIGHT WITH THE JOY OF LEARNING WHATS TRUE!
Therefore you need to thoughtfully seek out people who can disagree with you! You need not to care or focus on their conclusions. You just need to learn to see things through their eyes. And to have them see things through my eyes. So that together we can work things out to discover what is true!
In other words, we need thoughtful disagreements! Going from just seeing things from my eyes to seeing things from the eyes of these thoughtful people! This is like seeing things in black and white to seeing things in colors.
That’s when you will realize that the best way to go through the jungle of life is with sight of people that can see things differently from you.
THEN going back to the five steps process. As mentioned because we are wired so differently, not everyone can do all the five steps well. But you don’t have to do them all alone! You can get help from others who good in what you are not! Or wired to perceive things you can’t!
We need to let go the attachment of having the right answers myself, and use the fear of being wrong to be open-minded to these other views. In this way, you can point out the risks and the opportunities that you will individually missed!
If we can take this radically open-mindedness approach and believe in ability of different people’s thinking, it can significantly increase the probability of making the best decisions possible. You can then ascend to greater heights and greater challenges.
In the past, you may have always wanted to do what myself thought was best, but now you can sort out the strongest independent thinker I can find.
There is nothing better to be in a shared mission with extraordinary people, who can be radically truthful and radically transparent with each other.
A company with ideal meritocracy operating in a unique way that produce unique success.
You get the best of everybody. Everyone thinks independently, then we worked through our disagreements to get at what’s best.
However not every opinions are equally valuable. And we have to learn to distinguish between good ideas and bad ones to get the best decisions.
In other words we need to “ability weight” people’s thinking.
Right now there are many wonderful opportunities and dangerous risks you do not see. If you see them free of the distortions from your ego and your blindspots, then you will be able to deal with them more effectively!
If you can acquire this ability and with practice you can, you can radically improve your life.
To recap, we learn on how we confront our own reality, our problems, our mistakes and our weakness and how we should surround ourselves with others who can do things better than us. This approach can allow us to be successful. And being successful can allow us to meet extraordinary people who are also successful and see how they think.
The journey of successful people are similar. They all struggle. They all have weaknesses. But they all get around by working with people who see risks and opportunities that they would miss.
Most people greatest strengths are also connected with their significant weaknesses! And striving hard for big things are bound to lead you to painful fall. It is just part of the process! Such setbacks will test you. They divides people. Some think hard about what cause their setbacks, learn lessons and continuing progressing towards their goals. While others think that this game is not for them, and get off the field.
Success is not a matter of attaining one’s goal. Success is when you reach each new higher of level of success, you will really remain satisfied.
The things that we are striving for are just the bait. Struggling to get them forces us to evolve. And it is this struggle that cause personal revolution with others, and that is the reward!
You no longer wanted to get across the jungle, but instead wanted to find greater and greater challenges to go after! Surrounded by great people! Working together on a shared journey. Eventually the success of the mission and the well being of the people alongside became more important than my own success.
You will then see beyond yourself. And you will want others to be successful when you are no longer around. If we fail to do that, then we will be a failure.
SO STRUGGLE AND EVOLVE WELL ACCORDING TO YOUR OWN NEEDS!
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